So the reason for the title below

29 October Monday
So, I was thinking that when the day comes when I am back in the states, I won't be so freakish to everyone. I won't be so fascinating to touch. My hair won't be so soft to other people and no child or adult woman will run their fingers through it. No one will find my armhair pretty. No one will restrict other people from visitng my compound. No one will think I am a big deal as they do in Agou Avedje. I have had 3 dreams where I leave Togo and in each of those dreams I regret leaving. I was evacuated in one because of the elections and I ET'ed (early terminated) in the other 2. So there, it's looking like I just might make the 2 years. I'm off to watch the sunset on the roof of one of the bars here in Atakpame. Happy Halloween everyone. I'm sad that I won't be home to celebrate because it is one of my favorite holidays along with Thanksgiving. Is that weird?

Xpovia Pola Baba! I'm sorry I missed talking to you on your birthday but sometimes the connections on Sundays truly blow. Xpovia Pola yia tin yiorti sou, xpovia pola yia tin yiorti sou...
And Biggie Smalls your birthday is also coming up this Thursday, so in case Togo does it to us again and your call doesn' get through on Wednesday (did you get my text message, I can't receive but i can give...erase those dirty dirty thoughts) at 5,30 pm your time, yes?

Okay, I'm okay and I hope everyone else is. I bought a mortar and pestle last week so I can now officially pound my own fufu. And I have tons more stories to tell, but that sun sets without me. So I will hopefully have more time in the near future to write them out. We have an AIDS bike ride next week, so I might be in Lome and able to use the fqster than scheisse internet. Love to all!

I'm kind of a big deal in my village

27 October 2007 Saturday night

Hello my lovely peeps. It's been a while, yes? So, I've been in village for almost 6 weeks. Definitely going better than when I was first dropped off. Today, I went to my friends village because she was having a birthday/father coming to visit her celebration. We pounded some fufu and since that whole process took 7 hours (including visiting her chief and visiting her dispensaire, which is a clinic for the village and touring her very large village), baby ate some chicken piment sauce because I was so freakin' hungry that not even the prospect of giardia could deter me from eating whatever was placed in front of me. And it was so good and her village was so nice. I did feel a little awkward eating outside while some of the kids looked at us because I knew that they wouldn't necessarily get a meal for dinner and whatever we didn't eat would be given to them later. So, now I'm a little tired, but I will leave you all with some stories. And Peggy if you are reading this... Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday sweet precious love Peggy, Happy Birthday to you!

Storytime:
My neighbor/moto driver/nightly visiter's name is Lolonyo, which means "love is good" in Ewe. He professes his love to me pretty much whenever we are alone and that happens to be when he has me on his moto or comes by to visit me. I was just told by the internet place to speed this thing up but here it is. He killed a scorpion for me which somehow crawled into my house and he also told me that god sent me to him because he wanted an older woman with small breasts. Got to go!

In Lome with faster than shit internet

What up you crazy ass mf's? I'm in Lome on my last day before I go on to my post. I have bought so much stuff the last couple of days so that I can somewhat comfortably move into my house. Who knew that I would need to bring a spatula, cumin or baking soda to Togo? Peace Corps knew and didn't tell me until now. They did, however, recommend a garlic press, which I thought was ridiculous, but that's neither here nor there. So I haven't posted in a couple of weeks, but honestly not that much was happening. My last 3 weeks at the training site were spent watching movies with the other trainees, eating a lot in order to fatten up before post, reading during any technical training because listening would have sent my mind into a deadly spin towards dead inside town, and thinking about supplies I will need for the next 2 years or maybe just week. I bought an egg carrying case today (plastic container-like suitcase) at the Grande Marche in order to protect my precious eggs from breaking during the bumpy ride on the back of a moto. There are no eggs in my village (tomatoes and onions apparently in plenitude). I also bought a very large pot in order to "bake". We had a party last week for our "formateurs" (a.k.a. teachers, it's teacha in ewe which cracks me up) and made a pineapple upside down cake that was so good tastin'. We made it by using a dutch oven and I can't wait to bake more. What is a dutch oven? I had no idea until now...It's made by placing a baking pan inside your very large pot on some small metal empty cans, like tomato paste cans, (we also put some stones in there in order to increase the temp inside) and "baking" it over your gas stove. It only took about 45 minutes to bake. I also bought some Mueslix at the "yovo" store (means white person in Ewe, did I already mention this?) and oh a spatula!
This week in Lome has been a bit disconcerting because the resources that are available here are so dramatically different from the resources that are available in our villages. Being at the "yovo" stores where all the other yovos shop at (embassy workers with their gargantuous villas next door to possibly the poorest peoples shacks) made me feel privileged and wealthy in comparison. I was stressed over which cereal I should buy (it was between Corn Flakes and Mueslix, see above for results) and yet I'm not quite sure the wells where I will be getting my water in village will provide any water during the dry season. My skin color is seen as a status symbol and I can walk into the fanciest hotels here to pee just because I'm white. I don't know if I can truly integrate into the culture because what I can buy with my volunteer salary is so much more than what a family will live on for the year. So it's no wonder that the little kids on the street will ask us to give them bon-bons or money. We have it, we can afford it and it's not much for us to give it up. I'm on a tangent. My thoughts are all over the place and I wish I were sick so I could stay an extra week in Lome at the Med Unit with air-conditioning, very tasty cooked meals and a comfortable bed. I am constantly thinking about why I am here. I chose this. I chose this? I had a fantasy about what it would be like here and it's all happened, but it's definetely not as romanticos as the fantasy. On the other hand, I enjoyed being at the Marche today where I talked the price down on a plastic sack (from 2000 CFA to 1100!) and met a very nice Ghanian lady who gave me a fair price on my pot. It's surreal here at times and then also really boring. There aren't any movies, TV or cook-outs to distract me. I'm rambling. I'm reading The Village of Waiting right now and so far I can relate to his experiences in the book. Highly I recommend. Two of my teachers are from the village George Packer was posted in. I apologize for the excessive "quotes" usage. Forgive. So here are explanations for the pictures...
1. me and Innocente at swearing-in wearing matching pagnes (and her new hairstyle, do what?), her tailor made this outfit for me and i had no idea what it would be like, interessantes, eh?
2. me, natasha and alicia at swearing-in (my bitches)
3. me and alicia putting our "complets" on
4. me and ashley (she is wearing a bou-bou which is a moomoo and i have no idea how to spell either)
5. me and alicia at 5.30 am pre-run (we wore these awesome outfits to be funny and we were told we would never be hit by a moto wearing these...p.s. i need longer running shorts biggie b/c these are alicia's and they are a bit short for togo)
6. me in the marche (market) at agou gare which is near the training site
7. my host mother showing me how to do laundry
8. in the garden at the crack ass of dawn
9. in agou nyogbo with some random kids, mt. agou is in the background
10. me teaching a cat castration in french to the other trainees for language practice, notice the drawings
11. catching up on some news with another trainee, becka
12. i like baby goats and i cannot lie...
I hope you are all well...I will hopefully have more exciting news once I settle into my post!
Love, tig

August 25, 2007 - Photos

New photos from Tig!
My host mother, Innocenze, and me in our mother-daughter dresses for my swearing-in ceremony!

I'll add to my blog soon....

4 August 2007 Saturday morning

4 August 2007 Saturday morning

Greetings everyone. It’s been a while since my last post and it’s been a car-a-zee couple of weeks. I’ve been back 1 week since my post visit. It didn’t go so well. The volunteer I’m replacing talked to me for a couple of hours when I first got there and the minute she left I broke with a fever and was in bed for 36 hours. Not a good start. There isn’t any food (except for maybe some tomatoes and onions, I need protein and fruit people) that I saw in the village (and the village is so small), except for a market on Tuesdays that is 11 km away. I have motorcycle privileges once I get to post, but did not have them that week. I live off of a dirt road that is about 4 km from a main road where I can catch a bush taxi to food and such. E-mail is horrible today and I am about to scream. Staying positive, staying positive. I think my computer is possessed. We were joking last night that technology will change so much in the next 2 years that when we come back we’ll see flying cars! and talking computers! and robots! Is this true yet?

One of the other trainees’ mother sent them the “Shut up and Sing!” Dixie Chicks DVD and we watched it last night. It was really good. I am buying soybeans today because I am going to teach my host mother how to make soymilk and tofu tomorrow. I’ve only made it once, so it should be interesting. We are going to Lome on August 2^nd for swear-in (swear in= finally becoming a volunteer) and then off to our posts. My host mother is having an outfit made for me for the event, which should be very interesting indeed. The e-mail is so frustrating today that I think I am just going to call it quits.

I love receiving all of your letters so much! I am going to buy a cell phone today! The only problem is that phone calls to the states cost $2/minute. Someone told me that you can buy a long distance phone card online (gonoble.co or callnoble.com, may take some searching) and get the calls down as low as 10 cents/minute. Anyhoo, just a thought. I think e-mail is about to bust a nut, so I’m going to send this off before I bust a nut. I hope all of you are doing well and I miss the living scheitte out of all of you! A tout a l’heure!

7 July 2007 Saturday, Kpalime again

7 July 2007 Saturday, Kpalime again

I found out my post on Thursday! It’s in Agou Avedse! I’ll be working with an NGO named CADO. It’s actually really close to the training site village. I just met and am sitting next to the volunteer I will be replacing in 6 weeks. Yowzer. So, this week has been a pretty big week. Besides discovering where I will be for the next 24 months, we did our first “causerie” on Friday. I was really nervous because we had to discuss a health issue such as HIV/AIDS, malaria, nutrition, hygiene, etc in front of a large group in FRENCH. We didn’t really discuss any specific topic. We just told the parents that we are starting a health club for the kids and will discuss any topic they want us to discuss. They chose HIV, hygiene (washing hands, washing vegetables properly and covering food to avoid flies, etc), how to wash clothes? and sports. Tomorrow, we meet with the kids for the first time so we can figure out what our health club will be all about. We are going on a field trip on Thursday the 12th up to the northern region of Kara to see a traditional healer, a dispensaire (clinic) and other volunteers in that region. Okay, but more about my post. Here is what I know:
It’s in a small village of about 3000. The volunteer says the village is very welcoming and also very used to “yovo’s” which is, in my opinion, a derogatory term for white people.
There are a lot of Belgians because the NGO is organized by Belgians, hence why the village is used to "yovo's".
It sounds like I will be translating for them a lot (French and Ewe apparently). Ewe is the local language spoken here and I only know 4 words so far.
There is a baker in my training site, which is close to my post site, who is interested in working with a volunteer because she wants to enrich some of her cookies or bread for healthier treats. I am super excited about this because I was hoping I would be able to do some baking up in here. And her goods are good.
There is an orphanage and a dispensary that I will be working with. I am super pumped about the orphanage.
My house is apparently nice and there is a bucket flush toilet inside the house! This means no latrine (no 50 foot hole with critters crawling up my...).
When I find out more, I will post more. But, in the meantime, Mission Learn French and Ewe has begun. I hope everyone is doing well. Oh, could anyone do some research on Heaven’s Gate, the religion, because my host mother told me her brother is a preacher for them and I was curious to know if this was the same group as the Heaven’s Gate in the states where everyone committed suicide and wanted to climb aboard a comet. Just e-mail me. Oh by the way, I don’t check myspace at all, so please do not post anything on there. It takes too long for me to log in. I may not be able to post next week because of the field trip we will be on, so tootles until the next post. Hugs and kisses to all you sons of bitches!

30 June 2007 Saturday in Kpalime

30 June 2007 Saturday in Kpalime

So I just went to another internet cafι that took 20 minutes just to enter into my e-mail account. I got so frustrated waiting that I decided to try another internet cafι. This one seems to be a bit faster. I keep meaning to pre-write my blogs, but somehow the days are going by faster and I’m staying busy learning French and all the technical information we need to do our projects for our posts. I had French class yesterday for 4 hours and then I spoke with my family for another 2. We sit in lectures pretty much every day. I think next week we might have more activities outside of the classroom. I’m tired, hot, stinky and not very pretty right now. I had a good time last night, though. Some volunteers came into our town and hung out at the local bar, where I also happen to live, and we sang Cher, N’Sync, Mariah Carey (I had a duet) and Paula Abdul all night long until my host mother told me she needed to go to bed because she was still feeling sick. She says she has had a fever and has had what sounds like some muscle aches. We automatically think she has malaria, but it could be something else. However, no one here seems to take much precaution to prevent malaria (like mosquito nets, DEET or screens). It also seems that most people have had malaria at least once. We found out where our 14 posts will be, but no decisions have been made yet where we will be posted. Most of the posts sound pretty remote. It’s pretty exciting. I had my first dress made yesterday. I think they wanted me to have bigger hips than I do, so I had to have her fix it twice to finally fit my apparent small booty (all these years I thought it was quite large…basis of comparison, eh?). Anyhoo, I am homesick, but I know that it will pass (until I get it again next week), and I also know that this experience is something I have dreamed about for many years. Yesterday, in French class, we were asked if we were afraid of spiders, insects and frogs. I replied in French that I had no fear of spiders (d’araignee) or insects (d’insecte) or frogs (I couldn’t think of the word for frog in French, so I said froglement, which is not the word for frog in French or any other language). I laughed so hard, I peed just a little. Everyone in my group has a really great sense of humor and we have all bonded very fast. It feels so good to be able to vent my daily frustrations with people that are going through it at the same time. It makes me a little scared, though, for when I am at post and very isolated. Oh well, I just recently found out I have balls of steel, so I’m sure I’ll be fine, right? Kisses and hugs to all my bitches! More posts coming up!